


Merlin as Jane Eyre

by Tamasha



Category: Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Jane Eyre Fusion, Angst, Closeted Character, Confessions, Crossover, Drama, F/M, Feels, Gay, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kissing, Love, M/M, Male Slash, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Possessive Behavior, Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:45:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamasha/pseuds/Tamasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief recounting of Jane Eyre (events are changed to suit the story) told with Merlin and Arthur as the main characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merlin as Jane Eyre

**Author's Note:**

> written by Natasha

Arthur settled back into the chaise, his attention to social mores accomplished. He was headed back to Camelot estate, to his home, and for the first time in a long time, there was someone there he was excited to see. Arthur had originally hired Merlin to care for his orphaned nephew, Mordred, but after meeting the man, he had been enchanted.

Merlin wasn’t much to look at: a skinny, pale, boy with big ears. But his blue eyes were deep and Arthur knew instantly that there were secrets in those depths, secrets he desperately wanted to discover. Merlin had turned out to be wise beyond his age, though somehow still innocent and pure. He thought much more than he spoke, and getting beyond his stiff wall of formality was difficult, but so very worth it.

The ride to Camelot seemed as if it would never end, but finally Arthur was riding past a familiar row of trees. Closer to the house, he saw Merlin, reading with Mordred in the shade of a tree. Arthur almost jumped up, but then thought better of it and waited anxiously for the chaise to pass by. He had been unfortunately unable to dissuade Lady Guinevere from throwing a party in his honor. At his estate. So he did have to warn the servants to prepare, for she would arrive tomorrow. Arthur had only escaped early to have some private time before the flock of rich, entitled women visited for a birthday feast.

Arthur had never cared for women. It had always been other men that interested him, yet that sort of romance was frowned upon and hard to find. He kept staring out towards Merlin, but the boy never lifted his eyes from his book. Arthur gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus on making preparations. He had a lifetime to uncover the mystery that was Merlin.

 

\---

 

When he reentered the house, Merlin quickly discovered that Mr. Pendragon had returned. His stomach gave an excited lurch at the news, but Merlin stubbornly calmed his wayward emotions. Not only was it unreasonable to be falling in love with his employer - a man, no less! - the talk of the other servants said that Mr. Pendragon would soon be getting married.

It was past time, they all said. He had spent too much time a bachelor. And now, after traveling for a few weeks, he had invited the Lady Guinevere and her friends to Camelot for a feast. Surely, she was the one who had caught his interest. There would soon be a mistress in the house, the servants said. And then Merlin would be gone. Once he had a wife, Mr. Pendragon would have no need of a servant to care for Mordred.

So Merlin stifled his emotions and quietly went about his duties, waiting for the inevitable.

 

\---

 

It was not until evening that Arthur found his servant unoccupied. Merlin sat by the fire, reading a book from the library. Arthur just watched this relaxed scene for a moment before interrupting.

“Merlin,” he said, stepping forward. Startled, Merlin closed his book and tried to stand. Arthur stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “No need for that,” he said, but Merlin tensed and watched him carefully.

“Mr. Pendragon,” he said. “Welcome back to Camelot.”

"So formal, Merlin? I thought we had moved beyond that." Merlin's eyes darted to Arthur’s hand, still on his shoulder. He had lingered too long. He hastily took it away and stepped back to sit down on his own chair, across from Merlin.

Merlin smiled sadly. "You are my friend, Mr. Pendragon. But you are also my employer. Some measure of formality is necessary."

Arthur let out an exasperated sigh and stared into the fire. Merlin's shell was back. Why did he act this way? Did he truly feel nothing?

Merlin interrupted his thoughts hesitantly. "I hear you are having a party tomorrow..." Arthur perked up, despite not wanting to talk about that particular topic. At least Merlin was trying. It was worth the world just to hear him speak.

"I am, but it will be a dull affair. No need to dwell on it. What about your book, Merlin? What are you reading?" He leaned forward eagerly and Merlin opened the book to the title page.

Du contrat social, ou Principes du droit politique, it read. "Rousseau? And in its original language, I see. I did not know you spoke French, Merlin."

Merlin nodded hesitantly. "I have had a very good education, sir."

"I suppose so." Arthur glanced at Merlin’s bookmark, over halfway through, and nodded to himself. "What do you think of the philosopher, then?" He asked lazily, not really expecting more than a word for an answer.

Merlin looked up at him and said, "I find him circumspect, but idealistic. I agree with most of his ideals, but all of his theories hinge on a perfect society where each person acts with honor. This is, of course, what we should aim for as a society, but it is unfortunately not the society we live in now. England is full of men who live greedily and thoughtless for others. Ours is a great empire, spanning the whole world, but many of our states were conquered without compliance from the natives. If we were to create a social contract like the one Rousseau proposes, each territory must be given a choice to remain within Great Britain or to become independent." He finished with a challenging stare.

Arthur smiled, taking the bait to play devil's advocate. "Queen Victoria is fair to all her citizens, is she not?"

"She is as fair as she can be," he acknowledged, becoming more animated. "But that is beside the point, as long as she is the one making decisions. Rousseau theorizes, and I agree, that a country can only be run fairly if each person has a say in his or her government. If Victoria was an elected official, she would be certain she had the blessings of her people. As a queen, though, she cannot be punished for her choices, and can therefore make decisions that the citizens may not agree with.”

Arthur opened his mouth, ready to continue the conversation, but he was interrupted by Gaius' quiet arrival. "Would you like some tea, Mr. Pendragon?" Arthur turned to glare at the old man. He had finally gotten Merlin talking, and he had been fascinated by what the man had to say. Now, Merlin would likely be frightened back into silence. He was like a baby bird, that way.

"No. I do not need tea," he said curtly.

Unfazed, Gaius asked, "And you, Merlin?"

Merlin shook his head politely. "No thank you, Gaius. In fact, I should be going to bed."

Arthur’s mouth opened to stop him as he stood up, but he found nothing to say, and merely watched in irritation as he lost another chance to be with Merlin.

 

\---

 

Merlin combed Mordred's hair and the child whined with every stroke. "I don't even want to go to the stupid party!" he said with frustration. Merlin sighed and turned the boy around so they faced each other.

"Your Uncle Arthur is having a birthday, Mordred. You need to behave yourself, even if you are bored, because he has guests coming from all over England. You don't want them to think poorly of your uncle because of you, do you?"

"No," he muttered sullenly.

Merlin nodded, and then finished the last bits of the child's hair. He even glanced at himself in the mirror, to make sure everything was orderly. After all, Mr. Pendragon had asked him to accompany Mordred during the party. He had to be presentable too.

Satisfied, he led the way down the stairs and into the sitting room where he could hear a woman’s laughter. He nudged Mordred forward and then halted when he locked eyes with Mr. Pendragon. Across the room, he was spread languorously over a couch, looking for all the world like a king on his throne. Despite his lazy appearance, his eyes held a fierce masculinity that caused Merlin to instantly regret his decision to attend the party. How was he to stay here all night, ignoring his own desires as he watched Arthur give attention to everyone but him?

Merlin took a steadying breath and located Mordred. Walking toward the boy, he determined to drown his own feelings in professionalism.

 

\---

 

Despite being knee deep in flirtation from Lady Guinevere and her posse, Arthur noticed when Merlin slipped out. The young man was where his attention had been all night, though his face had been convincingly engaged in his birthday party activities. Arthur was keen to follow his servant, so he discreetly shifted the focus to another and then slipped out himself.

Merlin was leaned with his eyes closed against a wall in the hallway, but he heard Arthur’s approach. “Why did you leave?” he demanded, harsher than he had intended. He had asked for Merlin specifically tonight; he had not wanted to be alone among the wolves.

“I was not interested in the conversation,” Merlin said coolly, opening his eyes.

Arthur tried and failed to recall what his guests had even been talking about. He threw his hands up in the air. “Was my company not enough for you?”

This angered Merlin, for some reason. He straightened himself and narrowed his eyes. “You did not speak a word to me, Mr. Pendragon!”

Arthur wrinkled his brow, trying to recall if he had or not. Merlin’s presence was sufficient to keep him sane. But of course, he wanted more. He always wanted more. “Please,” he said, defeated, and changed the subject. “Call me Arthur. Surely we are friends enough for that.”

Merlin’s anger seeped away. “You are more than just a friend to me… Arthur.” The way Merlin said his name set Arthur’s blood on fire. Without really thinking, Arthur moved forward and confidently kissed the man. To his surprise, Merlin struggled and pushed him away.

“What was that?” Merlin gasped as Arthur stumbled back.

Arthur worked his mouth, annoyed, wishing he could continue, knowing he must treat Merlin with care and respect if this would ever work. And it had to work; he was going to spend the rest of his days with this man. As long as Merlin wanted to stay.

He began to pace. “I’ve loved you from the moment I nearly ran you over with my horse. I’ve spent weeks trying to tear down your walls, but if I even pause for a moment, you have them built up higher than ever. I am certain you feel the same as I, because I have seen it in you, so I have tried patience, but I am tired of patience, Merlin! I’m tired of pretending.” With a huff, he turned and faced his servant almost hesitantly, despite his bravado.

Merlin looked shocked. He searched the hallway, as if looking for an escape route. Arthur tensed. “Lady Guinevere…” Merlin whispered, almost as a question.

“Is nothing!” He made a slashing motion with his hand, getting irritated again. “I owed her a favor, so I let her throw me a party. I entertain her and her lady friends to be polite, nothing more. Can’t you see that it is you I am attracted to? You are the only one I want to stay with me when the time comes. You are the reason I keep up appearances, Merlin. If it makes you happy, I’ll go back into isolation, as long as you come into it with me.”

Merlin’s hands were braced against the wall, but Arthur took them firmly in his own. His blue eyes nervously searched Arthur’s, and he did not pull away, causing Arthur a rush of joy. “You really mean it? You love me?”

Arthur ventured another kiss, this time short and soft. “I love you, Merlin. I can’t stop loving you, and I don’t want to.”

“Well, that’s good, then, because I love you too,” he said with a small smile and this time, he initiated the kiss. His lips were gentle and curious, and they opened freely. It took all Arthur’s self control not to do anything more than kiss back.

Even so, he pulled away too soon, and said, “Let’s get married. If we both love each other, there is no reason to wait.” Merlin just gaped at him until their moment was interrupted by the arrival of a blond woman from the party. Arthur stiffened immediately and stepped forward. “You aren’t supposed to be here,” he growled.

Morgause just smiled. “Where is my sister?” she asked sweetly. Arthur knew Merlin must be confused. He was about to become more confused, unless Arthur could avoid it. He felt his recent happiness crashing down.

“I don’t know,” he said slowly, trying to warn her away with his eyes.

She widened her eyes with mock shock and then evaluated Merlin dismissively. Arthur clenched his fists as she turned back to him. “You don’t know where your own wife is?” she asked innocently. Fury swept over him and he grabbed Morgause by the shoulder. Who was she to rip away from him the man he loved? He dragged her with him into his study.

 

\---

 

Merlin watched Mr. Pendragon leave with the blond woman and felt a growing sense of dread. Wife. She had said wife. Mr. Pendragon was married.

He tried to reconcile it all in his head. Tried to tell himself all would be well, he hadn’t really thought he could be with Mr. Pendragon anyway. But it wasn't entirely true. For just a moment there at the end, he had let himself hope. He had opened up to Arthur... Mr. Pendragon. Now it would be so much harder to box it all away.

Merlin was still standing in the hallway, not quite recovered from the shock, when Mr. Pendragon and the woman reentered. "Merlin," Mr. Pendragon said, visibly relieved. Merlin straightened, but kept his face blank, professional. "Morgause, this is my servant, Merlin. Merlin, this is Morgause Cornwall. She... is my sister-in-law." Merlin felt his mouth go dry with the confirmation, but he said nothing. Mr. Pendragon frowned and then said, "Come with me, please."

Merlin glanced down the hall, to where festivities were still going, but followed Mr. Pendragon and Morgause to the second floor. They entered the master bedroom and then Mr. Pendragon opened a hidden door and waved Morgause in. Merlin hesitated outside until Mr. Pendragon entered and beckoned him forward. Very reluctantly, Merlin followed.

They were in a small, drab room. There was one window, but it was barred. There was a chair, a bed, and a locked chest. On the bed sat a woman.

She would have been very beautiful, but she was scowling and her hair was matted and tangled, sticking every which way. Morgause had already made her way to the bed and the woman despondently stood and hugged Morgause. Mr. Pendragon spoke without looking at Merlin.

"This is my wife, Morgana. We were pushed into an arranged marriage ten years ago by our parents. Even in the beginning, Morgana hated me. She was cruel. Soon, though, she grew ill. She tried to harm herself and others. We have tried everything, and the only way to keep her calm is to keep her locked up here, with no access to anything dangerous. Bedlam was our only other choice. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Merlin. I had hoped to put all this behind me, but I should have known better."

Merlin stared at the woman. He watched Morgause speak to her gently, not at all the way she had spoken to Mr. Pendragon. Eventually, Morgana responded to the friendly tones. Finally, Merlin turned his attention back to Mr. Pendragon. He looked broken. Merlin felt that way too.

Without another word, Merlin turned and left to his own bedchambers.

 

\---

 

Arthur knew he had lost Merlin. He was an honest man and so purehearted. He was everything Arthur was not, and Arthur had made the mistake of showing him that.

Morgause’s father had died and she, as the elder sister, had inherited his worth. So she had come to Camelot Estate to take back her sister.

Morgause had always hated Arthur and adored her beloved, insane sister. Now, she had the means to house Morgana herself and Arthur was more than willing to give her up. She claimed she even had a priest who was willing to annul the marriage. Arthur was free. He should be overjoyed.

Instead he just stood, unmoving, as Morgause ushered her sister out of her room, down the stairs, and into her waiting carriage. He stood long after he watched the carriage roll away, never to return. He stood until one of his servants, Gaius, came to inform him that the guests had been shown to their rooms and the party was over.

When Gaius gently shut the door on him, Arthur sat on his bed, as if a spell had been broken. He started to cry. Somehow, he fell asleep that night, but he was up with the dawn.

He loved Merlin. He had meant everything he had said to the man and he wanted to marry him. He would not give him up without a fight.

So he knocked on Merlin’s door and waited. A few minutes later, a rumpled, tired Merlin opened the door. His servant's expression went from annoyed to hurt to guarded.

"Merlin... I'm sorry." Arthur stared at his servant, willing him to understand, to forgive. He needed Merlin, but he had nothing to offer save an apology. Arthur was in the wrong here.

Merlin nodded slowly. "I know you are," he whispered. Then, he stood straighter and spoke firmly.  "But you are still married, Mr. Pendragon."

Arthur shook his head and reached out to Merlin, his hand stopping halfway as Merlin tensed. "I won’t be for long. Morgana is already gone, and I am getting an annulment. I will be free of my past, one way or another. Please, Merlin... please."

Merlin smiled and moved into his waiting arms. "All right."

As Arthur held onto his servant, who now was so much more, he felt his spirits lift. This was all he had ever wanted, the warmth of Merlin pressed against him, and a love that was pure and true. He finally had Merlin, and was free of his past. Free to be with whom he truly loved.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was Natasha's first crossover piece. We were watching Jane Eyre and when we thought of Merlin and Arthur, we knew we had to write this!


End file.
